Prompt Impromptu: Spam, spam, spam, spam.

14 April 2012 by 12 Comments

Hello, booksluttians! Today, we are introducing a new segment that I’m calling Prompt Impromptu. Prompt Impromptu will consist of . . . well, an impromptu writing prompt. It’s pretty self-explanatory, I guess.

Earlier, I giving my spam folder a quick scan before I cleared it out. I always do this for two reasons: sometimes–very rarely, but sometimes–legitimate comments get caught in there and I want to fish them out; also, even when there are no legitimate comments, sometimes the spam cracks me up. Actually, it cracks me up even when it’s nothing special. Spam is often either relentlessly cheerful or passive-aggressive in tone. “I am to love your contents, however, your theme could use some work!” “Great job on this article, your site is the best on the internet for this type of thing!” Occasionally, though, we get spam that’s so good that we have to publish it. Comments like these couldn’t be lost to the eternal void that is “Delete Permanently”:

From “gamecockike”: “yo I want to see more of Black Dicks on here good bye”

From “hotels near wembley stadium”: “Youve got so significantly to say, such knowledge about this subject it could be a shame to see this blog disappear. The internet requirements you, man!”

From “Heart Touching Quotes”: “obviously like your web site however you have to test the spelling on several of your posts. Many of them are rife with spelling problems and I in finding it very troublesome to inform the truth nevertheless I will definitely come again again.”

From “luxury rental bali”: “Book that banned make me more curious to buy.. Baby Massage”

Now, our Twitter account @thebooksluts basically has the best followers ever. There are some gloriously wry, bitingly sarcastic, and quick-witted readers who make it damn near impossible for me to actually log out of Twitter because they provide top-notch content. We also have the most lovely commenters; in fact, I really don’t mind telling you, I basically think we have the best group of people on the web visiting our site and talking to us. I’ve been to other sites, and you guys are the best. I’m not at all biased about this.

(I might be a little biased.)

While I was clearing the spam, I thought to myself, “I bet our readers could write up some pretty funny spam.” ¬†BOOM. This idea was born.

Your challenge today is simple: write me a funny spam comment on this-here blog post. I will read them, and whichever one makes me laugh the most by noon tomorrow (EDT) wins. Unleash your inner spammer, and be as creative as you want; work alone, or with partners, whatever you can imagine. (Clearly, you can just about be as foul as you want, too. Within reasonable limits. Don’t make me vomit, or anything.)

Oh, and uh, there’s no actual prize. I’m just gonna make a graphic. Which you could proudly display anywhere you like, for it will be yours!

Go forth and be spamtastic!


Susie is the Bitch-in-Chief at IB and is also a contributor at Book Riot. She's an ice cream connoisseur, an art fanatic, a cat-mommy of three, and a wife. She runs the @thebooksluts Twitter account and may be slightly addicted.

12 thoughts on “Prompt Impromptu: Spam, spam, spam, spam.

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