Ghostbusters Haters Can Go Fuck Themselves
So, I saw Ghostbusters and it was rad as fucking hell.
Which, of course, pissed me off.
Why? Oh, I dunno. Maybe because assclown fanboys have spent months railing against women Ghostbusters. Maybe because Leslie Jones had to fucking leave Twitter (thankfully, temporarily) because people gave her so much shit for daring to be black and a woman in a Ghostbusters movie. Maybe because those assholes don’t seem to understand that any “attacks” against men in the movie were a direct result of them getting their knickers in a wad over women being in the movie in the first fucking place. Maybe because we. can’t. have. fucking. anything. without having to put up with literal abuse and violence at the hands of some shitbags who can’t be satisfied with, you know, men having controlled basically everything for thousands of years and now maybe it’s okay to let women have a goddamn Ghostbusters movie without, again, literally abusing them for it.
We saw Ghostbusters at the drive-in last night and we thought it was even more fun than Star Trek Beyond (which I also enjoyed). The characters were great. They got to be women the way actual women would be women, not some over-sexualized fake nonsense, which meant that the characters were better and made more sense. There were a lot of solid jokes and gags. The cameos and references were great nostalgia points without taking away from the story. I’m basically in love with Holtzmann.
Was it a perfect movie? Not entirely. Was it Oscar-worthy? Nah. Was it a hell of a lot of fun? YES. And despite what fuckboys the world over are crowing about on the internet, it had a respectable opening weekend in spite of a campaign so ruthless that the trailer (which is a PERFECTLY FINE MOVIE TRAILER) has almost a million dislikes on YouTube and everyone involved has been the recipient of harassment and abuse.
The whole thing makes me so goddamn tired. How much time and effort does it take to be so hateful toward something that isn’t even a threat? The original movies still exist. If you have a movie theater, you can still show the original Ghostbusters. If you have a TV or a computer, you can still watch it anytime you want. What, exactly, is the harm of having a different iteration of the franchise? What is the harm of some mild criticism of gender roles in film via the character of Kevin, who enraged “meninists” because he was “a goddamn idiot” who was just there to be eye candy? (Never mind that 3 of the 4 Ghostbusters didn’t even find Kevin attractive and the one who did was against hiring him because he clearly didn’t have the qualifications for the job [alas, he was the only one who applied]. That’s the opposite of hiring someone to be eye candy.) Christ forbid anything ever portray a man as not being the most competent person in any situation.
It reminds me of Margaret Cho’s bit about how much time she would save if she didn’t take an extra second to be negative about herself every time she walked past a window or a mirror. How much time would these fuckers save if they didn’t escalate hatred for everything that didn’t center men as the everlasting heroes of the universe? How much energy? What could they do with themselves if they didn’t spend so. much. time. fostering this shit-sucking notion that ideas not coddling their fragile masculinity are a DEFCON 1 threat? How much better would the entire world be–including their own lives–if they built some actual self-esteem instead of hiding in a brittle glass cage that protects them from the consequences of their own actions?
Here’s a newsflash: other dudes have already done this and these are the best dudes. People who are honest enough to take an internal inventory and say “aw, shit, everything I have done hasn’t been perfect and I’ve probably hurt some people along the way and I’m not going to do that anymore because it’s not the right thing to do” seem to be happier, healthier, have more friends, and probably get laid more (when that’s a thing that they seek out and desire). People who don’t enshroud themselves with hate and rage get to have fun and enjoy shit. We don’t have to be afraid of other people. We don’t have to fight everybody for just trying to exist.
I may be annoyed right now, but last night? I got to go out with my husband and have a great time and laugh and that’s something that anti-lady-Ghostbuster-fuckboys won’t get to do because they’re too small and petty. In ten minutes, I won’t even have to think about petty assholes because they don’t get to tell me how to run my life; whether they like it or not, I, a woman, get to exist in this world and enjoy things and have things made that center on people like me.
They don’t have that luxury, because we get to keep existing. We get to keep creating. And there are enough of us that we’re always going to win that right. The only way they win is to let go of their hate.